Get Carter, 2000

Taken from the novel written by Ted Lewis called Jack's Return Home (which has been adapted to make three films: Get Carter, Hit Man and Get Carter (1971)), and adapted by David Mckenna (American History X, Blow (2001) and Bully(2001))... Get Carter is one of a dozen remakes made in the last ten years. And it doesn't even come close.

I will preface this by saying I've never seen the Michael Caine original, Get Carter. I'm dying to.

Directed by almost newcomer Stephen T. Kay (The Last Time I Committed Suicide), it's obvious that he's got the MTV video mentality running full thrust. The film has some decent shots, some neat editing and a neat opening... but other than that, this guy doesn't know how to tell a story. I blame both the director and writer, across the board.

Stallone is almost completely alone in a cast of unknowns, except for Mickey Rourke, who should have stopped acting after Angel Heart. The cast is well rounded with some decent no-names, but no performance stands out as spectacular. Alan Cummings, who's been in some decent films like Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Goldeneye, and two films not yet released, Spy Kids and Josie and the Pussycats, was not terrible... just boring.

A good reason why this movie sucked was because it had 13 producers. THIRTEEN!!! Who in gods name needs to hear that many voices, that many opinions??? I would go nuts having to answer to a bunch of guys who have the money, but won't ever be able to make a film because they have no talent of their own.

Cinematographer Mauro Fiore came off of doing crap work (nothing I recognize), to a full blown, mainstream film. I personally think it was a bad decision. His work is stylistic, he obviously knows how to work a camera, light a scene, block shots... but his work comes off as MTV video like. For two hours, it's more annoying than beautiful to watch.

Something I was impressed with was the editing. Jerry Greenberg has done some great films in the past, working in some of the most influential films ever created. From The French Connection, Apocalypse Now, Kramer vs. Kramer, Dressed to Kill, Scarface, Body Double, The Untouchables, Awakenings, American History X... fantastic work, and it shows.

Re-makes, as a rule, will always suck. They are money making ploys that someone with too much money comes up with to make more money, hence the 13 producers. In the last ten years, we've been inundated with ridiculous re-makes that should never have come to pass. And there are more coming in the future.

Films that are based on television shows from the seventies and early eighties... ridiculous films like Charlie's Angels, Josie and the Pussycats, The Flintstones, Casper, The Addams Family movies (which weren't terrible, but sheesh!!!), the biggest mistake in Hollywood over the past 10 year that was Psycho (jesus christ), Gloria, Wild Wild West, The Avengers, Lost in Space, Shaft... a rash of ridiculous films that should never have been made.

The only re-makes that have come out that didn't take itself seriously and were a hell of a lot of fun were The Brady Bunch movies. Those were so well done and hysterically funny, it's not even... funny. Ummm, nevermind.

I think there will be a trend in the next five years or so until they run out of possibilities, ending with a re-make of Gilligan's Island. Then they will probably go to late eighties sit-coms to make movies about. Films like Married With Children, Cheers, Sienfeld, The Facts of Life, Family Ties, Different Strokes, The A-Team, and I'm sure, a host of other Saturday Night Live characters that no one wants to see on the big screen. Superstar, The Ladies Man, It's Pat, Coneheads... jesus.

As you can see, I've gotten off track. My reasoning is that people with money, the majority of the time, do not spend their money on the right things, just the sure things. And it's sad to me that films like these are 'sure' things.

Get Carter, 2000 might be worth renting. Get Carter, 1971 I'm certain is worth renting... worth owning.

J.P.

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