XXX - 08/31/02

Anyway. We've been given James Bond... which, for the most part, were pretty intelligent spy films. Especially in the beginning, when they didn't stray too far away from Ian Fleming's path. Spy movies have always done well... for the most part. Especially when the story doesn't come across as too simple... and dumbed down for the 'leave you brain at the door' audience member.

I'm tired of those kinds of action films. We've been innundated with them, since the birth of Chuck Norris, Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme... these guys have made and re-made the same films, over and over. And we've succumbed to them in a fashion that is almost like assimilation. Almost.

With 2000's The Fast and the Furious (which was about as ridiculously cliched as you could get)... Vin Diesel has propelled himself into one of the next action superstars. I hate to use the phrase 'superstar', but let's be honest. Arnold is getting old... and he's been chosing some very poor films, lately. Bruce Willis hardly does action any more. Sylvester Stallone... out. And, believe me, I loved these guys work. I still do... but, it's a fact of life that there will always be a new face... not really a replacement.

Diesel can be a good actor, when he is in the hands of a good director or, at the very least, good material. XXX is, quite possibly, the worst summer film I've seen in a long time. This film isn't about being a spy, it isn't about cool gadgets, or the arch villian... this is about x-treme sports, and their new assault on the viewing audience. It's about excess... and it got away from the writer, the director, the producers and Diesel. And when something gets away from its creators... well, we've all seen Frankenstein.

One of his first roles was in Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan... and I suppose that set him up in the eyes of casting agents the world over. He had a pretty two dimensional character in that film, so I won't comment on that. He provided the voice for The Iron Giant which, if you haven't seen it, is a brilliantly animated film.

Boiler Room was next... and he actually came off pretty well in this film. He had a pretty prominent part... but I'm not sure how that corresponded to him getting his next role in the sci-fi thriller Pitch Black, which was a pretty cool movie. Again, he came across pretty well... his deadpan approach and his dry delivery, along with the subject matter... well, it helped him score the following he needed. Pitch Black was made for $23 million, but grossed over $40 in the US alone. A decent return on a rising star.

That film, Pitch Black, made more than enough money to garner a sequel, called Riddick... which, it's been rumoured, that Diesel will be receiving a $20 million dollar pay check for... I'm not sure he's worth the money, especially after seeing him in both The Fast and the Furious and XXX... but what do I know? The movie going audience of this generation needs things spoon-fed to them... which is a shame.

I watched Fast and Furious... but I was so disappointed in the recycled storyline, characters and general direction, that I didn't bother. I did not like seeing Diesel in the role of Toretto... I think it was a gig strictly for the money (and the women)... and I find it a shame. The movie 'demanded' a sequel which, thank god, Diesel saw fit to decline. At the very least someone has his ear to help make those decisions... and, I have to admit, I thought that the character of Riddick garnered a sequel, so I think that was a smart move (especially for the money)... well...

XXX was directed by Fast and Furious director Rob Cohen, who has yet to give us one decent film. His televion work is ok... Miami Vice, thirtysomething... ok, we all watched them. But in his film work, there is definitely a problem, across the board. Dragonheart, Daylight, The Skulls, Fast and Furious... all of the stories are terrible. The material is so ridiculous, that it makes any kind of directing pretty pointless. The movies could direct themselves. They are straight forward tales with no real strength. The characters are two dimensional, the stories were pretty lackluster in the imagination department (yes, even Dragonheart)... and, especially lately, the talent did not bring one thing to the film.

I think the biggest disappointment in this entire feature was Sam Jackson. Jackson played about as useless a character that has EVER been invented... and his acting abilities brought nothing to this film. A complete waste of time... and I have lost some respect for him, to be sure.

Asia Argento, daughter of horror genius Dario Argento... well, her character was about as absurd as Jackson's... and you pretty much saw through to what she was, from the get. She's very pretty to look at, and I'm sure the name brought some alure to this project... I haven't seen any of her other acting, so I will reserve judgement about her abilities... but this film was definitely not a showcase of her talent.

Marton Csokas was the only person on this cast that actually provided some talent. There was, at least, some emotion in his character... I think he did a neat job in Lord of the Rings, and I think he's going to do an incredible job in 2003's Timeline, based on Crichton's novel. Should be very cool.

The last actor I'll mention, because he had the only other prominent role, was Joe Bucaro, as XXX's Q - what the hell was this character about? I mean, jesus, he just came off as a lap dog. No depth, no nothing. Just the guy who builds shit and then shows up to say "here it is!" Completely useless. I'm not exactly sure why he got this role, but the guy has an INCREDIBLE stunt track record... he's done some pretty neat films... and unless they are going to start writing you better roles... stick to the stunts. At least those won't ruin your fledgling career.

I won't comment on Diesel's performance, except to say this. I have no hope for XXX 2 - the idea of a sequel to this film is more maddening than a sequel to Minority Report. And I hated that movie. I think Diesel needs to have someone read the scripts before he accepts his check.

This film is the definitive insult to movie-goers. I don't care how much money the movie has made... people like blood sausage. When people start to get tired of films that are there for ridiculous stunts and over-the-top action with little or no pay-off... then, maybe we'll get more intelligent action films. I'm tired of films being made just for their marketing value. They've already gone into pre-production on XXX 2. Just like I haven't seen either of this years sequels... MIB 2 and Austin Powers 3... I will not be tuning in to XXX 2. It's a waste of time, would be a waste of money... and it's a shame, because, as I said, Diesel could actually be a decent actor, if he wasn't so concerned about coming off super-cool. Which is all he tries to do in this film.