Meet The Parents

Copland. Ronin. Wag the Dog, even. And these were only two or three years ago. Analyze This was one of the worst films I've ever seen, up until Meet the Parents.

Working off Mystery Men, There's Something About Mary and Keeping the Faith, I'm sure De Niro saw Stiller as a bank machine, the two of them together making what ended up being the most money a De Niro film ever made (almost $200 million).

In my history of seeing films on the big screen, this is only the second movie, ever, that I've walked out of (Jackie Brown was the first). Everything about this film was predictable. Everything. This film should have been called "De Niro Wants to Work With an Animal (preferably a cat)"

What shocked me (that's sarcasm) is that it took 4 writers to ruin what was a semi-successful track record for Jay Roach (the director). The material was terrible, and I can understand how, when a director is given crap, but great actors to work with... he's in a tough, almost impossible corner to work out of. Not only did he paint himself into the corner, he painted the doors and window shut.

From the ridiculous volleyball pool scene, to the espionage 'sub-plot', to the fucking polygraph test??? Some of these things were meant to be funny, I understand that, but jesus, everything was set up so that morons couldn't see it coming a mile away, with a big red sign. Everyone else, if you've ever seen a movie, EVER, you knew what was coming. It took away half the laughs.

I didn't stay after the back yard went on fire. I couldn't stomach the ridiculousness of it. Christ, even Owen Wilsons character was such a ham handed ex-boyfriend type that made me want to throw up the Twizzlers I bought. And I've enjoyed all of his previous work, too!

This film has made it onto a list that few share, with shame... movies I will never, ever rent or be forced to watch, unless I'm strapped up like Alex, and my wife has the eye dropper filled with water, every so often moistening my eyeballs.

J.p.